The True Evil

Yes Aetolians it is that time again.

It is time to indulge yourselves in feast of quality writing that will
distract you from the stress and strain of the realm. People think that
just because I am the Lord of Sexiness, and that it now means I am a
complete idiot. I am only a little bit of an idiot, but still completely
lavishing. Aside from being the dominance of masculinity and
handsomeness I am also compassionate so I will relieve you people with a
post that is actually worth writing. I will make this post longer than
any of my others. I know how much you people praise my long posts.
However I am afraid that this post is harsh and it might be my last.

But go on have a read

Would you rather read posts of people fighting and insulting each other
or would you like to read a post that tells you how Godsdamnsexy I am
and how much women love me?

I will make deliberate spaces and paragraphs where needed so your
retinas will not become detached. The other day I read one of Ahel's
postsI thought I was hit by hell sight and the denizens of the
underworld were scraping my eyeballs out. Send the nymphs of Ulangi to
shag me till near death if I am wrong but I don't think Ahel actually
takes breaths between sentences.

I am at a rather low point in my life after being killed so many times
that a small dead fish could kill me. I decided I would finally do
something constructive. I would read every post from the start of time.
I would raid the ancient libraries and examine the scrolls and
parchments from the beginning of time. I would study each bit of text
that was ever written. I wanted to become Sayber-the-all-wise-sex-lad!
This took very long because I do not have the skill to read.

Anyway, I concluded these facts

Everyone thinks that there is a way in which each person should live.
There are stupid concepts of Good, Evil and (snicker, get this one)
Balance. Well after reading all about these concepts I have found the
meaning of life, I have found the true evil as well as the true good, I
have found out about donkey poo, I found that there is no such thing as
balance, I found out that Azov is a complete and utter imbecile and
lastly I found out that people really need to stop writing stupid posts
and concentrate on writing about me. Thank you.

I first tried to read all the divine posts because they are so wise and
every word they utter are pearls of wisdom or drops of donkey turd. I
read one of Lady Slyphe's posts. Now you are not going to believe this
but, in one of her post she talked about donkeys. I swear on my lifethe
Goddess of Change and the Seas, was talking aboutI tell no lieDONKEYS!
The donkey is perhaps the second most boring creature on the face of
Sapience since Koron. Why would she use the analogy of a donkey, I do
not know? Perhaps she was trying to make an "ass" out of some personGods
Sayber that was weak!

Anyways, then she somehow combined the notion of donkeys withwait for
itCAVIAR! Together in an excellent hypothesis she said that donkeys do
not produce caviar and only sturgeons could make caviar, and that caviar
was in fact eggs andOh Gods wait a moment

I always thought donkey's excreted caviar from their bottoms?
I am right aren't I?
Those little pellets of smelly black stuff is caviar?
Oh gods please say it is?

If I find out that I have been eating donkey crap my whole life I will
cry! Like a Shallamese Militant betraying the city just because the
Renegade Legion bullies him. I cannot explain the feeling of elation one
experiences by being killed from a 75 th level of experience to 24. The
most hilarious thing about it all is that when I get killed down to
level 1, I still will not die so poor Spirokai lost his war before it
even began. I will never leave the Shallam militia, nor will any other
Saer'ac, save Synx and Daedloth who are not Saer'acian anyway. One,
because Daedloth will never stop licking Spirokai's bum and. Two, Synx
is a woman.

Is it me or is Alastra the thickest person in the Realm. Nope it is
probably me. Jianmin may be a good fighter but he really needs to know
how to link words together. Reading his posts is like trying to
understand what a drunk and retarded imp is saying. I wonder where
Synsei is?

I think Hearn should be the God of Mystery because his posts are so
short and they never reveal anything about his character. I like the way
Severn responds to people and makes them look like donkey poo. Nuiri? Oh
please. Arion, here is a divine that lets his equine write for him.
Speaking of that horse, it must have been really horny to mate with a
feline beast.

Then I began to read the mortal posts, because the Gods were not
concluding anything for me. They are too wise for me.

Olorin's posts! Now send eighty wild Amazon women to fornicate with me
if I am right, but damn he can talk the biggest load of donkey crap.
Olorin said something to the effect of, and I quote "I am Indorani, I
wish to see you all die!" Then he described Nuiri in this awfully
colorful array of wise words, "Evil is not her, good is not her and
neutrality is not her." Then, what in the stink and decay of necromancy
is Nuiri? Donkey poo?

Clearly Olorin does not even know, because if he did, it would be no
mystery, thus contradicting her path. So Olorin, maybe you should shut
up because you are only digging yourself into a bigger pit of stupidity.
You do not know Nuiri or what she is about, she is a mystery. Even Nuiri
would not be able to understand herself because then she would be
contradicting herself. Any God that steals the voice of a paladin just
because he is standing up for himself and his city deserves idiots like
that in her order.

Who cares if the Divine are good or evil? At the end of the day we know
that all Gods, save Varian, are selfish and roam the realm for their own
entertainment, they are not dissimilar to us in that respect but they
are superior and are far more powerful. Even if they talk about donkeys
they deserve the respect they are due, because if you do not you will
have a lightning bolt shoved so far up your dark side you will be lost
like Zahmekoses. I wish I could end out that way. It is up to you to
select the aspects of a God that appeal to you and see if that god is
interested in what you can contribute to them and their order. Do not
criticize others for identifying with certain divine. Even if they like
Chak-breath. I was cursed with the rot lately, why in the cave of the
underworld would someone like things that rot, I must have killed twenty
percent of Aetolia's vegetation with that smell. Then I was cured and
the smell never went away and it was just my armpits. Maybe the Dark One
will let me join her order as a special smell guest.

Then I read one of Spirokai posts, and this was probably the worst of
them all. I have noticed every once and while he pops into the public
eye and writes about the updates in the Renegade Legion.

As if we are actually interested.

The biggest joke is he actually has names and positions for people in
the league. Red Alpha Squadron, Yellow Delta Squadron and Green Ace
Squadron B or something to that affect. Now when I think of squadrons I
think of at least hundreds of soldiers in organized ranks, this is not
true in the Legion. It is full of people who cannot give orders or
follow orders and suffer from a thirst to kill. Oh and it has Alastra in
it. Remember that Alastra won the prize for being the thickest thick
head in Thicksville, just south of Thicksberg in the province of
Thicksania. Shania Torkah and Achillies also come from that part of
Aetolia.

No, I am not bitter for loosing so many levels, in fact I was incredibly
proud to have died so many times without a harsh word or lifting up a
finger in protest. I just stood there and did nothing and the hordes of
Spirokai's army ripped into me. Even my own cousin Daedloth tried to
kill me after I helped him as a young one, guided him, introduced him to
a great family and stood by him in everything he did. The funniest thing
is it took eight of these guys to kill me at times. Yes, even when I
purposely held back my reflexes. Eight Squadrons against one, and the
gods support such actions. Cleary there is no place for good in the
Realm. It truly is the Midnight Age. Perhaps player killing supports
Aetolia. Go my little monkeys, kill everyone, and make people so pissed
off that they leave the realm forever.

Now the reasons Spirokai gives for war are almost as stupid as
Sigfried's reasons for killing. I am not pulling the wool over your eyes
when I say Spirokai started that horrific war because of a falcon
attack. He got Bloodloch, The Durian Council, Shallam and Ashtan
involved in a massive genocide because of a falcon. No, no, no of course
the falcon never attacked Spirokai himself, it wasn't even near him. It
attacked Lieutenant Blue-Gnome Beta Ace Mephiston. Surely the RL is not
threatened by the damage dealt by a falcon.

If I started I war against I city I would just say, I want Bloodloch and
I will fight until I get it. I would not say I want Bloodloch because a
Falcon shat on my shoulder. Then to bring all the other cities into it
and spark a massive trigger reaction of war is truly a work of a genius.
Spirokai you are a remarkable shrub. Spirokai while your roots sink
deeper into the earth and I walk past you on the highway, I will not
urinate on you, you do not deserve my precious pee. I will not gloat
over an enemy I could not kill, I will gloat over an enemy that lied,
cheated and extorted everything that was held dear in Aetolia, and
potentially ruined it.

Divine seek essence and guide a few certain mortals on the paths that
interest them. They do this by manipulation and philosophical ideals. If
they control a few mortals, they can control cities and guilds or visa
versa. The more they have in their orders the more power they have. If a
mortal can determine what exactly what the concepts of mortals are, and
judge the ambitions of gods, then he is a blabbering madman or a genius
the realm has never seen before.

I see a few mortals pondering the concepts of good and evil and I grow
concerned for all of your well being. I will now reveal to you the real
entities that suck at our existence. I will reveal to you the proper
truth to the existence of human-niod-kind. No, it will not be as
ambiguous as Zahmekoses's last post. I will tell you about the true
corruption of humanoid kind and the harsh reality of the dark forces
that will claim us all.

The true evil that threatens us allisTHE FEMALE.

When I was young my mother died, so she must have been evil to leave me
alone with my extremely smelly, alcoholic father, Chrono. Then I tried
to steal some muffins at my grand-folks house, so I climbed a tree and
snuck in through the upstairs window. Let me tell you the one thing more
revolting than Zephy's optical lenses, is witnessing your grand-folks
having sex. I know it was my grandmother's fault because my grandfather
died shortly after. Then Gretel came along and laughed at me when I ask
her, "Am I allowed to kill pixies?" Then Ilore came along and laughed at
me when I did my interview to become a Sentaari and I said, "Balance is
when you manage to stay on your feet after drinking a bottle of
tequila!" Then The Goddess of Mischief came along and didn't laugh at
any of my jokes. Man! Do you know how much that hurt? Females are the
enemy people, SLAY THEM ALL!!!

Yes that is right, manipulating, sly, conceited, gold digging, WOMEN!
They are the harbingers of lust, crones of deceit and vicious scrags of
injustice.

All the male gods are good because they are male. Rahn just wants to
incinerate all vampires from the face of the realm, and destroy all
those that were apathetic and useless. Severn just likes to manipulate a
few hundred million people there and a few million here. Evil, I think
not? Hearn merely wants to destroy a city here and there, is this a bad
thing? This cannot be evil? PLEASE!

Lanos (and Ahel seems to dictate Lanos's intent these days) held a path
of truth, so he can't be evil can he? Once the Litch in Bloodloch said
she would kill me and she did. She told the truth, so she is not evil no
way. Arion is so obviously good, I mean with all that Valor talk that
his pony writes about. I just wish they could produce a less treacherous
God of good. Being brave with endless courage, or being valiant,
intrepid and fearless can only be the qualities of good?

Female gods on the other handarepure evil.

You know when you were a child playing on the beach in Polyargos and you
make a huge sandcastle, with perfectly shaped walls and awesomely carved
turrets and beautiful coned roofs. Then some guy jumps on it and ruins
hours of work and you have to "change" the look of the castle by
starting again. Or when you are shopping with your fiance for a dress in
Ashtan and after seven turns of the sun and agonizingly boring hours in
the heat she picks her dress and then when you are about to pay for it
she conveniently "changes" her mind. If divine are so intelligent why do
they keep fooling us into believing we are slyer than them, I am sorry
donkeys are just not my thing. Slyphe is like this, pure evil. Then she
scoffs at mortal ideals of progress to be a joke. Well how can you
progress if you change the whole time? I do however suggest that you
take Slyphe seriously because she is a divine soul and very hardcorehave
another lemon pie everybody.

That damp mildew and gunk that grows on the bottom of your bathroom
walls. That fungus that grows in between your toes that you get after
you walk on the steaming damp floors in the ancient bathing rooms. That
horrible virus you contract when you have been with an Ashtan Lady. That
terrible brown stuff in Sigfried's underpants that can never be cleaned.
Oh please! I do not even have to be sublime here. The Dark Lady, is the
deepest evil!

You know when your father farts and that hideous smell invades your nose
and eats away at your brain. It is a mystery how he creates that smell.
Or when your grandpa manages so blow out all the green slime out of his
nose. It is a mystery where all that stuff comes from. Your grandma when
she bends down to pick up the dirty washing and you see all those
mysterious bumps on her ass that make you want to puke. Only Nuiri knows
where all that mysterious stuff comes from. Why? Because she is evil.

Saying that men are evil is like saying
Sigfried is a clever chap or that Spirokai does not horde credits and
cheat, or that Aden is a mature lad, or that Xon has a sense of humor,
or that Murad is calm and level headed or that Zahmekoses is a bad
lightning conductor. It is just not true at all.

Then I began to read a few of the guilds posts, it took tremendous skill
in getting to read these posts, disguising and endless hours of sex with
high powered people.

HEY DO NOT JUDGE ME!

I can now tell you which guilds are the better guilds to join in the
realm just by reading a few of their posts. The best guild in the realm
is the little slithery fellows in The Reach. The worst, yes I am afraid
it is the Balanced-brain-dead Bum-heads. You would think the Daru would
be terrible, but at least they are honest and know their leaders are
complete and utter retards and they all do not object to the fact that
Clio has her hand so far up Searoth's bottom that she can control
everything he says and does. Why are Clio's posts always about defending
herself. Tells you something does it not? Relax, I will not bore you but
I will tell you that after reading seventy-five volumes of guild talk I
am more confused than ever. I will keep reading and try to understand it
all (Gods help me). I still love the Sentaari because I love pain.

If you ever manage to get your hands on some necromantic posts, try
reading Ikne's scrolls. This guy has to be the biggest joke since Alcor.
Once I over heard him talking to Moyra about his own crotch region. We
all know that people are only interested when I talk about my own crotch
region. Speaking about penises, another penis is Utansi. I really do
mean penis because this guy's head actually looks like a penis. In fact
I think his penis looks like a person and gives him orders and stuff.
His posts are either retorting to some insult or about something that
has no relevance to anything.

AND NOW THE INTERESTING STUFF

So after reading a book entitled "Inner Balance" I burnt it and looked
at myself in the mirror. Saige lay on my bed and looked at me looking at
myself in the mirror. Then I looked at her looking at me looking at me
in the mirror looking at her. She usually gives me that sexy look and
tries to seduce me with her inviting eyes, but this time I was more
attracted to myself.

Is it so bad to love yourself?
I mean I do!
I even lust after myself but I never, ever touch myself

�for more than an hour at a time.

Anyways Saige did not respond well to this and she threw me out of my
own Castle. The engagement was off and I lost the only woman I had ever
been in love with. I walked the streets of Shallam in a miserable,
pathetic state. I was 63 going on 143. Was I still the hard piece of
rugged lizard I always was, or was I old and turning wrinkly and stuff?
Would I find another woman as gorgeous as Saige?

At first I freaked out and pretended nothing was the matter, I continued
to shout to the realm that I was still the definition of sexiness. I
continued to write my world renowned sexiness volumes. I proceeded to
tell the city that I was still epitome of seduction. Then my world came
crashing down. All that I had lived for suddenly died. I was standing on
the rampart of Shallam, the wind was blowing through my hair and whilst
I flexed my biceps and kissed them individually, I squinted and
pretended to look at something on the horizon but there was nothing on
the horizon.

I turned white as snow. I wasn't sexy.

"Hey bugger, what you look so worried about?" A black rat started
talking to me. "You look as if you have had a bad day."
I have had a bad life pal, let us not go there.
"There is no way your life could be as bad us mine." The black rat
sneered at me.
"Okay let me tell you about my life." I got into an indignant pose and
began to tell this black rat the facts. "I have had people steal and lie
to me my whole life, almost everyone in this realm can not stand me. I
get killed all the time because I say the very first thing that comes to
my mind, I once had to kill rats to repay 680 000 to the Sentaari
(Thanks Aden). I once got kicked out of my guild for defending one of my
guild mates in an attack, I have lost 3000 lessons, my god hates me, my
best friend fell in love with a vampire, I get exploited for my talent,
My daughter loves dead things, I have been killed down to level 24 and
people think I am not sexy."
"Hrm!" The rat said. "That kinda sucks!"
"So," I said. "Why is your life so bad?"
"Well I am Aborash!" The rat sounded convincing "I was polymorphed into
the form of a spasticated, one-legged rat and now I spend all my days
hopping away from every idiot that tries to kill me and sell me to that
crazy idiot in Medina."
"Okay, okay that is bad Your Grace!" I still knew that I had a worse
life so I told him my inner secret.
"When I was a child." I began to cry "I saw my grand-folks fornicating.
I have been scarred ever since!"
The rat rolled away.

At first I thought everyone said I wasn't sexy because they were either
jealous, blind or stupid. Then I realized I was the only one in Sapience
that thought I was sexy. You cannot imagine how destroyed I felt. I went
into a depression and almost killed myself. But then I never did,
because for some strange reason I can't. I thought I would show the
world, I would show them that it's not all sex appeal and that some
people value intelligence. Then I remembered I was not very clever and
then I nearly killed myself again. But then I never did.

I walked up to Ashtan seeking Gracie. The word on the highway was that
she was the best a giving advice in relationships. She has the most
popular adult shop in the realm and no doubt she knew how I could find
myself a new ego. After all she has snagged great lads like Xanithe and
Szan.

I walked in and she was sitting at her table fluttering her eyelashes
enchantingly whilst fondling a whip with a tiny white bit of fluff on
the end. She was true to her name, elegant and carried herself well. She
scared me however but I did not show her, I just sat next to her and
tried to look calm, and told her my story.

"So Sayber I see you have contracted the Nightshadow disease!" Her mouth
moved and it started putting a spell on my pelvic region. I grew even
more afraid.
What disease is it, and can it be cured?
Idiocy, and no you will have it forever!
I was crushed and she saw it. "Well what shall I do?"

"You keep ranting about you sexiness, Gods know how annoying your shouts
are getting. I even heard your own city complaining about your boasting
and one person even left your clan because of it!"
Okay okay but
But, nothing Sayber, you are just plainnot sexy!
It felt like Gracie had impaled me.
"Now Sayber there are two things you can do," In her cold face I could
see a warm heart trying to help. "You could get depressed, eat all the
chocolates in Jaru until you are sick, lock your self in your room, seal
it up and fart yourself to death"
Tried that, but it never worked!

"You actually tried that?" She looked repulsed for some strange reason.
"That is revoltnever mind. Anyway as I was saying, you could do that or,
you could try change."
Change? Oh god Change is the most ridiculous concept I have ever heard
after the concept of Balance!
"Yes, try find some interesting aspects in you character and use them to
improve your personality." She softly tapped her whip on her knees. I
had to get out, I heard about women like Gracie who act all sexy and
lure stupid men, and then they would wake, strapped up in some bondage
equipment with a very large carrot inserted up your anus. Once she asked
to feed off me and like a fool I let her, she sucked me dry.
"Okay, Okay I will try it." I tried to avoid eye contact and slowly
edged for the door. "Gods I hope it works, I am nothing right now."

Later that night a friend of mine set me up with a blind date at The
Silverdrop. I was a little uncertain, but I was eager. I thought the
whole day about how I would appeal myself to women again. Then I came up
with a few ideas. I thought that if I acted like some people around
Aetolia I would be sure to attract one of these evil women creatures. I
thought Sigfried for one was quite popular. Despite all his evil doings
and bad behavior the gods still liked him and even a few women too. So I
figured I would act like Sigfried for that night. I would act really
stupid, talk slow and be extremely crude and obscene.

I arrived early and the room was quite jovial. I few candles illuminated
the room in a dim light. A mandolin player strung his gentle cords. I
thought the music was cheesy and lame but I grew to understand it was
the same in all the inns all over the Realm. I shed my skin so that I
was nice and sparkly, scrapped off all the yellow stuff on my teeth and
raked my claws up and down the wall until they were smooth. I was
looking good. Eventually she came in looking evil but marvelous. She was
gorgeous. A lizard-like Xoran, with fascinating eyes and a very
revealing but elegant red evening gown.

I pulled out her seat and tucked her in. Then I remembered Sigfried was
an asshole so I pulled it out again just as she was about to sit down.
She fell on the floor in an undignified heap. I just laughed like an
idiot but I felt terrible inside.
"That wasn't very nice!" She said as she got up and straightened her
hair.
"My name!" I pointed to myself, "is" I pointed at myself again, "Sayber,
Saaaayber!"
"I know that silly, and I know who you are," She smiled trying to set
the awkward scene at ease. "I would not go on a date with a stranger."
"I am CLEVER, very clever, look at me." I tried to make the accent of a
lisping troll. "I is very big look." I then pointed down to my crotch.
She slapped my face and walked out.

The next day I realized why Sigfried was single. I had to choose
somebody more intelligent, less crude, yet someone with the same
arrogance and confidence. I would be Zahmekoses for a night! Fortunately
my friend had a couple of single lady friends still pretty keen to meet
me, so she organized another blind date. This time I rolled around in a
pile of rotting dead rat guts outside Hakhim's house to get the true
smell of death on my skin. I even ate donkey crap. I sat at the table
and waited for her. She came in, looking very evil but very beautiful.
She was a fascinating rajamala with smooth silver fur, pale blue eyes
and a bum that could bounce gold coins.

"Hi!" She greeted me pleasantly and friendly. Her eyes danced and her
smile melted me. "My name is"
SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN MORTAL!
"Okay, wow look at mister grumpy!" She sat down and glared at me
incredulously. "What the hell is that smell?"
"Do not ask the questions." I sneered at her. "I ask the questions."
Look if you not going to be nice
"I said shut up!" I flashed my teeth at her. "You will talk only when
you are asked to talk!"
She slapped my face and walked out.
Then it started raining and I got struck by a bolt of lightning.

Then Avialle walked in, I still had a chance to try my stuff. Then I
remembered Avialle was easy. Almost every man in the realm had been with
her so I ran out.

The next night I managed to organize another date. This time I was going
to behave like Nightshadow. He was the coolest in the realm and one of
the popular lads in the Taverns. This time I was sure it would work. It
almost did. A fantastic Tsol'aa woman had dinner with me and everything
went well. We talked for ages and we laughed. We got into deep
conversation and I could see she was giving me the bedroom eyes. Then at
the end of the night when I thought she would invite me in for "Coffee",
she declined. I was most upset and concerned but then I got a letter the
next day.

"Dear Sayber,

You are the most incredible man I have ever met. I really enjoyed last
night. You made me laugh, you made me feel good about myself. You are
kind, intelligent, and extremely sensitive. You even know about women,
which is amazing. I wanted so badly to ravish you and make tender love
to you for hours
It is just such a pity you are gay.

Your Tsol'aa friend forever."

I was at a total loss. Then I thought I would choose someone really
manly like Spirokai. So just before sundown I waited at the Inn and
everything was set. I sat at the table and posed in between two candles
and asked the muse to inspire some great music. A graceful human woman
entered and I welcomed her and seated her. I got her a drink and began
to talk.

"How are you doing m'lady?" I asked politely.
"Wonderful Sayber, and how are you?" She gently asked.
"I am doing okay I suppose, the Renegade Legion is doing well as well. I
have appointed a new Alpha Red Squadron and a Secondary Blue Seeker
Brigade leader. I have four generals in the Shiny-Green-Star section of
the Yellow Squadron. The join together and become a mighty contraption."
As I spoke she lost interest so I tried to spark more interest.
I want the Beta Squadrons to move their attacks out of Ulangi and focus
on Bloodloch, and then I can get three Mushroom Omega Squadrons into
position in Mojava! Shallam will be ours if I can exploit all the war
faults.
That is great Say
Then I want to lie and cheat and make the Gods look like fools for
supporting me, then I want to kill everyone because I have no penis,
then I want to lock a vampire in a storeroom

She fell asleep.

Then I woke up.

It all was a terrible dream. I looked in the mirror I was still
tremendously handsome. It was in that moment of midnight, whilst the
moon shone through my study window that I realized there was only one
good soul in the Midnight Age and she was lying next to me. The only
good Divine. The Lady of Sexiness, Saige.

Okay so females are not so bad. If you seek you will eventually find
lady that makes everything clear and dulls the pain. She will reveal to
you that no matter how donkey-shit your life gets, there is someone
special in to make you feel the ecstasy of euphoria.

Penned by my hand on the 9th of Slyphian, in the year 132 MA.