Like a father would to his daughter, you came to me.
Gauntlets of steel cold to the touch never felt so warm
as they held my smaller hands and checked for marks.
"Are you sure?" you asked me, and the answer was no;
yet in that moment I couldn't bear to tell you that.
That gentle side you were showing me
when just before you vowed to scour the earth.
To start again from scratch for the sake of the Dawn.

Your voice was not that commanding tone I had grown so used to.
Instead it was softer than I imagined were possible.
For you.
For me?
You bid I not become the monster you became
And yet how could I not when in that moment
I wanted nothing more than to be like you.
I felt as though I were a child again,
staring up at Papa
wanting to be just like him when I grow up.

Do you feel the same?
Could you ever?
In that instant my 'no' became 'yes', because
I needed you. To see that I could be strong. A Hammer.
That I could grow to take care of myself so you wouldn't have to.
But I wouldn't mind if you still did.
I felt so foolish thinking of what could be,
a field of flowers, showing you a simple bouquet.
Would you smile at my attempt, or remain aloof, if secretly joyful inside?

Would you teach me how to swing a sword in battle
so that I would never need a man to do it for me
like a father would?
Suddenly I knew that being too weak to see the Dawn realized
was not a final destination,
it was simply a diagnosis, treatable.
I could be better.
You could be proud.

Now I spin crystals until my fingers bleed trying to learn their ways
I march where no one can see
I keep step with your soldiers, just across the way.
My legs are tired.
I do not stop.
I taught myself to stand with square shoulders today.
To take up space, because it's okay to do that.

I think you are afraid that I could grow to hate you.
I don't think I ever could.
But I truly don't mind waiting, and smiling at you anyways.
Even if you don't view me
Like a father would.

Penned by my hand on Falsday, the 6th of Lexadian, in the year 20 AC.