This message is solely for Kobolds. If you are not a Kobold, do not read further; I will know if you do! Attention, young Kobolds! As your fearless protector, I pledge to defend you against all who threaten you. Gather 'round, and I'll teach you the mighty ways of Blaargh Magic, ensuring we stand strong against any foe. Together, we'll keep our snacks safe and secure. No intruders shall pass! Who's ready to stand tall with me? Join the Top Rock Resistance against the Ophidians!

Penned by my hand on Tisday, the 8th of Sapiarch, in the year 4 AC.