I haven't really lived a long life. Forty years isn't very long in the
grand scheme of things. It's been 164 years since the Grand Artifice,
four times the span of my life. Again, I haven't lived very long, but
I've still found enough time to do one or two things in my lifetime,
that I'm not especially proud of. Watching my brother die, unable to
prevent it... failing my brother the way that I did- that would be one
of those times.

I am imperfect, incapable of living without error in my actions.
Regardless of how hard I try, how much I know, I will eventually be in
error. These instances occur more often than I would like, and the
magnitude of the error changes from situation to situation. The instance
I would like to speak of today, would be a jaunt I had when I was a
younger man, in the ruins of Hashan.

Having just been wrested out of the most unpleasant Morgun Fog, by
Deliverance provided by Lord Thalian Flomein, I stood and brushed myself
off, discarding the webbing that had bound me. Faintly I could hear
cries for aid, their voices were thick and throaty but I could still
discern the meaning behind their words. The Lizardfolk were calling for
help, against a nigh unstoppable onslaught of Troll soldiers. There was
a civil war of sorts in Hashan.

I convinced Thalian to join me in a rush to Hashan, to attempt to
salvage the situation and prevent further bloodshed. Screams echoed
through the walls of the old city, the sound reverberating off the
broken stone. Thalian and I trudged through the ruins to a den of a
Lizardfolk Matron, her name was Siatheen, she was with five children. We
attempted to assist her but she lashed out at us in fear and anger,
mistaking Thalian and I for her attackers. We tried to reason with her,
to allow us to lead her to safety, but her hesitation allowed Trolls to
enter from behind. She was killed, the children she watched over were
scattered.

The Trolls moved purposefully through the ruins of the city,
slaughtering any Lizards they came upon. Their raucous laughter and
warcries echoed through the blizzard, melding with the screams of the
Lizardfolk to provide a most morbid ambiance. After a time I recognized
the voice of one of the Trolls, his tone and inflection were familiar
because the voice belonged to Yhog Aruvar, a Troll Luminary. The very
thought that a fellow Enorian citizen could take part in genocide such
as this chilled my very bones, and shook my faith in my fellows. I
called to him to have some sense and stop this madness but his laughter
was all the reply I received.

In an attempt to gather the started Lizardfolk children, Thalian and I
came across Hikage Amaratha, this was before he had killed himself.
Hikage was in the city as well, trying to stop the Trolls from
destroying the Lizardfolk, I believe his motivation had to do with
empathy for a race not unlike his own, but I am not certain. The three
of us cautiously made our way through the ruins still looking for more
of the Lizardfolk. It wasn't long at all before the ferocity of the
blizzard died down, and we found ourselves with Yhog and his
compatriots. The only one I remember clearly was Alamar, his surname is
still unknown to me. Yhog refused to listen to logic, and in a last
ditch attempt to avert the genocide, Hikage and I attacked him.

My skills were undeveloped, and I had little practice at fighting.
Thalian pacified me, Alamar's butterfly transfixed me, and we were both
killed. Thalian ressurected myself, but I believe Hikage approached the
mirror. Thalian and I split to go about our separate ways, I was
displeased with being pacified in the middle of a fight, and I believe
he was equally displeased with my resorting to violence so quickly. I
met with Hikage later and we both agreed that fighting once more with
him would be a definite mistake, considering the beating we received
only minutes before. We agreed to meet with Yhog, Alamar, Aren, Adia,
and Zuljin, to discuss what had just transpired. Adia at that particular
time, was not the lowly thug of a Cabalist that he is today, rather a
lowly thug of a Luminary. The distinction between the two is small, it
is my personal belief that Adia has always conducted himself as poorly
as he does now, only now it's more overt.

The discussion was a failure, the most coherant sentences I could get
out of any of the Trolls were "Hashan Troll home!", "Yhog smash!" and
something to do with uppity tree people needing to mind their own
business. Alamar, Zuljin, and Yhog left myself, Hikage, and Aren in the
company of two Troll Guards, and went on their happy merry way to do
something else, I forget what. Aren decided to kill the Guards and
Hikage and I were pleased with assist. As soon as the second guard
bedded down for his dirt nap, Exodus, Alamar, and Yhog were in the room,
generally proceding to hand our asses to us. Aren I believe, escaped
using the devotion skill "Pilgrimage" while Hikage and I took another
trip the the mirror.

Flash forward several months. The city of Enorian had expelled me and
demanded I pay a monetary fine for attacking another citizen. Seeing no
wrong in my actions, I refused and was enemied accordingly. At the
insistance of my Fiancee, I caved several months later and gave in to
their demands. I was no longer an enemy of my home, but I was hardly
welcome as Sultan Cuchulainn Yaslana made so abundantly clear to me.
Though I had been punished in my Guild as well, I was still a Daru
Zealot. I took solace in this, but I was still furious with those who I
felt were responsible for my predicament. The Trolls, Alamar, but most
notably Yhog and Zuljin. They were the focal point of my anger, and I
desperately sought vengeance, thinking nothing of the consequences.

I awoke one day, struck with an idea. Kill the Troll King who I hated to
very much, and frame Yhog for it. The goal was that Yhog would fall out
of favor in Hashan, and the Troll society would fall into disarray. My
first plan, was to poison the food I knew Yhog brought Zuljin when he
visited. I sought after affective poisons, speaking with Kikon Corona
searching for the specifics of Averroes' demise. I soon discovered that
the Linctus poison used to kill Averroes would be too difficult to
obtain, so I had to come up with a new plan.

My progress was poor and I was without ideas, though still fueled by my
resentment for Yhog and Zuljin. I reached a time when I believed my
plans would never come to fruition, but that was not to be. The venom
dealer in Hashan, I do not know his real name... honestly I doubt that
anyone does, approached me as I sat contemplating various ways to kill a
Troll. He told me very simply that he had heard of my planning,
apparently I wasn't nearly as subtle as I had hoped, and knew exactly
how it could be done. The man even suggested someone to carry it out for
me. His suggestion struck me as ironic, I was under the impression that
not only were the Trolls of Hashan protected by Spirean law, but also
that the Syssin sought to uphold this law. I was indeed surprised to
hear that Mahakala Elistar would break Spirean law and murder the Troll
King, then frame Yhog Aruvar... and only for 15,000 gold.

Surprise or no, it worked flawlessly. Everything went exactly as I had
hoped. The Troll King was found dead, covered with enough evidence to
implicate Yhog Aruvar. Mahakala had even covered his tracks with
illusions of Yhog attacking the Troll King, so that when he was animated
all he knew was that he had seen Yhog attack him. I sat comfortably in
Enorian, my place reinstated by the generousity of the ruling council
that whom I had appealed to, hoping they could overrule Cuchulainn's
decision. I had my revenge and no one was the wiser, it was very
satisfying.

Probably the only thing I didn't plan for, was my own conscience and
feelings of remorse. Through discussions with Lady Auresae, I began to
realize just how wrong a thing I had done. Regret changes the nature of
a man, regret for my doings have driven me to confess publicly, my guilt
drove me to confess my transgressions to my Lady Auresae and my
Guildmaster, Grandmaster Searoth Fiadhaich. I've known the truth for
quite some time, but through greed and fear I kept it to myself. Now
this truth, I share with all of you... do with it what you will, I
accept the consequences of my actions.


-Turc

Penned by my hand on the 9th of Midsummer, in the year 164 MA.