My dear sweet little nephew, this is a long time coming. I have waited
patiently and bid my time until it was time for all the secrets and lies
to come to head. And here it is for all to see.

THE LIGHT!!! What is it. When I was but a youthful daru I contemplated
this question, even sitting and talking with my elders in the daru about
it. I writhed in agony over the answer because each person saw something
different. Each person gave me conflicting answers.

So as life went along I found myself doubting the things I saw and
heard. When hearing about Clio and how she had broken laws in the city
and how she got away with doing it because she was on the council. Then
she got voted off of the council, and behind closed doors the plans
began to be made. The plans for creating a new city for the daru. The
fact that Rolan always stood against the daru, against the light. That
they could maybe take over Ashtan and make that city their own.

Right you are my nephew, I never truly could grasp the meaning of light.
Because I don't think any of you truly know what it is. I will not
defend my decision to leave something I did not believe in, that I could
not see the truth in. I had not believed in it for quite some time but
stuck with being a daru because of the fact that others told me it would
get better, that we would eventually figure out who and what we were and
what our purpose was. But the longer I waited the more it became obvious
to me that none of you knew what you were talking about, because all of
you had conflicting answers to each question I posed to you.

I came to you, unknowing, and asked you when I first began to date Van
what would be the reprocussions. You told me that you personally did not
like it, but that really there was nothing that you could do as the GM
about it. I asked many times if I was breaking the laws and the answers
you gave me gave the impression that I was not. Even reading the laws,
technically he never fell under them. Yet still I was punished, and not
by you, the GM, who had known about my engagement for 3 months, but by
Clio, the secretary, who popped in and without a word or anything put me
on probation. I didn't leave over the probation. I left because I did
not want to stay in a guild where they didn't even understand or be able
to explain their own laws.

And yes, Van does have light, I still stand by that statement. He has a
light that shines brighter than any I've ever seen, but this light is
not the light that you would see. It is the light of determination, of
fire and passion. A light that is a beacon to darkness to follow him, to
look up to him. He is that which should be looked up to as an example of
what true darkness and evil is to be. He does not hide from what he is,
he does no deny it. He stands tall to embrace it and he does so with
honour and with bravery. And I do have a purpose, and morals and values.
You just don't see them because they are not your own, and therefore you
disreguard them.

I am prone to mistakes, Searoth, I am only mortal. Becoming a daru was a
mistake. Denying myself and my true nature for so long was a mistake.
Listening to the lies and propaganda was surely a mistake. But the path
I lead now, the path that is true, the path that is OBVIOUS with no
hidden words or false promises, that my dearest nephew is by far, not a
mistake. I will not back down from my position on this, I will not
falter no matter what you throw at me, or what things from my past you
wish to bring up against me. I have never done so much in my short
little life in this world that has affected anyone but me. So those
things I feel should be left where they belong, in the past. This is my
life now, see me as I am, not as I was. Because that person no longer
exists.

But do not speak to me of light Searoth until you and your guild alike
understand it themselves. If in the time I have been absent from you you
have figured it out, well then kudos to you. But I know when I was there
it was a great confusion as to what it really was. And you wonder why I
walked around so confused all the time. Those that I thought should know
the answers, could never give me a straight answer. I'm not sure most of
you have a clue what the real difference is.


Reecillia Laurn

Penned by my hand on the 2nd of Variach, in the year 140 MA.