Your prose style is familiar to me not just from years of having it
forced upon me at family dinners. I have also encountered similar syntax
and spelling amongst failed pugilists, dipsomaniacs in their final
moments, and those Tekura practitioners who consistently fail to guard
their heads.

Oh what an artist was lost in you when you were dropped on your head as
a child! How much poorer is our world for those vital twenty minutes
your tiny brain was without oxygen when Chrono accidentally smothered
you. Yet, despite the mangled structure of your writings and the
inconsistent and bizarre vocabulary you employ, you remain one of the
truly original voices of this world. Many have used this forum to
inflict pages of inflated, pompous nonsense on us. Some have had serious
news to impart but send us nodding off after a line or two. Even more
seek to do no more than adopt the arch and unconvincing style they have
learned from hearing others post, clearly unable to look within
themselves for some spark of originality. Your posts always come as a
breath of.... well I was going to say fresh air. Let us say... different
air. Long you may your pen be employed in the service of all, nephew.

Penned by my hand on the 1st of Haernos, in the year 132 MA.