Fellow citizens of Sapience,

In the past, I have been outspoken in my opinion upon many subjects,
but I seek this month to convey only the truth of an event that I
feel in my heart rumors will abound on. I will speak what I know, and
each of you may draw your own conclusions from there.

Many have I befriended, many have I offended. Always though have I
followed my heart, and my own beliefs and convictions in seeking a
better world for myself and my fellow men. This month however holds
an especially bitter stone in my life's chapter, for a man I once
admired for his courage behind many others, a man I spent countless
hours on in quiet counsel giving of my life's strength and energy to
assist in the refining of his own self, betrayed me, and betrayed all
who had ever cared for him.

This man I speak of first came to the hall of paladins many years ago
with what I believed to be great potential, and courage I'd seen in
few in my lifetime. Rough around the edges, and quick to anger, yet
I saw in him something I'd not seen in many. I saw myself as I had
been when I first came to Shallam. The details of what followed I
will not give here, but he ascended through our ranks to become a
secretary that I believed to have great potential. Many enemies he
made along the way, but I believed the torch of truth would refine him
into a great knight. Perhaps I fooled only myself. What I do know
though is that when our enemies made complaints to me that I felt
needed addressing, I spent hours and hours in counsel with this man.

In the end though, anger proved stronger than wisdom and against the
laws of the paladins he defiled a shrine of a God, requiring guild
action be taken. Guild punishment was more than he could bear though
even though I myself, as one of the friends of this knight regretted
more than anything what we had to do. He left the hall of the
paladins forever. Even in this though I believed the time away would
allow him to find himself, without being under our constant scrutiny
and one day become a great warrior of honor. He spoke often of how
he would always be a warrior of light, and as a man I wanted to
believe his words, and allowed myself to do so.

Unfortunately, this was not to be. Complaint after complaint after
complaint filed in as any reason became a good reason for him to use
his devotion against our enemies for reasons it never was intended.
Many of you will know of what I speak. It was at the height of this
an argument insued in which the blood of one of our own knights was
shed, which action forced the removal of another of our most respected
knights. In anger did I scold this man who I saw responsible for what
occurred. Did I regret my words? Yes. As an atavian weakness exists
in me as all people, and when my own anger subsided, I still felt in
my heart the need to apologize for the manner in which I spoke, and
the belief that this didn't have to be the end of our comradeship.
Yet even my belief in what he could become would not allow me to
overlook a serious crime committed by his person several months later
when an enemy of the city he brought within Shallam walls, for no
other purpose than to have him killed by our guards, in direct
violation of divine laws forcing his removal from the city.

At this time I feared him nearly lost to darkness. He spoke in his
disappointment of now that he was an enemy to Shallam, the Spires,
and Ashtan as well, he would have nowhere else to go. As my last
act of compassion, and in empathy for his fate despite disappointment
I had in his actions I tried to give him an out. I led him to
Eleusis, and introduced him personally to two of the Benandanti. I
still held out hope that a new home he'd find among the forest folk
there and the journey to darkness would not become his only option.
Whether he secretly planned to use this against me the whole time,
and whether it occurred to him I was doing all within my power to
give him at least one sanctuary so his life would not have to be one
of misery out of brotherly love for a man I once respected, I will
never know. What I do know though is before even three aetolian
months had passed, he'd betrayed my trust, betrayed the elysian guard
and betrayed everyone who ever cared about him, and turned to
landmarking for our enemies.

Aren, I no longer know what motive fuels your hatred, nor what your
ultimate goal as concerning myself and my people is to be. Perhaps
you will attempt to rally the legions of darkness to your side.
Perhaps you will try to drive all memory of your former friends and
home from your sight forever. Perhaps you will try to destroy all
that even reminds you of those who once cared about you. Do as you
will, I've given more to you than anyone else and who knows why you
think I gave as much time to trying to help out as I did. Who knows
why you think Osifer and many others did. Maybe you think they owed
it to you. Maybe you think they were only trying to push you around.
Who knows. I only hope honor finds you some day, and you see what we
tried to do for you.

To the rest of Sapience, perhaps there are those who will look for
a new ally in this servant of darkness, and due to the gulf between
light and darkness be amused at this betrayal and laugh. I will not
condemn doing so. All I wish to say to you is, this could have been
any of you. Each of you have had friends, proteges, and others you
have given more than a fair share of maintenance to help along the
road of life. Would you have wished to be stabbed in the back after
you'd given so much time to aid them? Perhaps you've already had
this unpleasant experience and understand. Be wary though before
trusting ones who would commit such betrayals is all I'll say. The
first betrayal is always the hardest. After that, others come far
easier, and I hope those of you who haven't experienced this never
have to.

Lastly I will apologize to the Duiran, if my bringing Aren to your
midst proves to be a headache for your people. I didn't know he would
turn on us this quickly, and hoped it would make a difference to him.
I was wrong.

At any rate, I've already made this post far longer than I intended.
Please do not comment on it, to me. I don't need your jibes. I don't
need your sympathy. I only wish to convey the truth so the
disappointment I and many of my allies feel will at least be
understood..... even if only to be ridiculed. I make an end of
speaking. We did what we could for this man, and we failed. He has
chosen his own path.

--Sir Alcor


Penned by my hand on the 12th of Severin, in the year 115 MA.