The evil had been unleashed on the realm. Thousands died. The Dark One
finally unleashed her power and reeked havoc upon Sapience. For Shallam
it had been a bittersweet victory, her army and stockpile was utterly
obliterated. The worlds armies stemmed the black hordes that slayed so
many. Eventually it was the Duranites that dealt the final blow but much
of the realm was nothing but a mess of decaying ruins. The Dark One was
not destroyed. She is too strong. Epicurus is now a babbling mad man in
a once proud city that has now been claimed by the true darkness.
Aetolia now bears a massive scar that will never heal. I look around and
I see faces that bear sad reminders of the hard times and once proud men
have eyes that depict horrors, leaving them paranoid, shriveling shells.
Dark times in the Midnight Age.

Nevertheless, I am still the most sexy Xoran that has ever walked the
realms. The most humble too.

Thus, Ironically, it was a dark evening in The Beacon of Light. I sat in
my study into the late hours doing some paper work. A quill in my right
hand and a sizzling, hot, Shallamese kebab in the other. There is
nothing more delicious than a kebab marinated in hot chilli oil,
sprinkled with sun-dried chilli crumbs, a side portion of chilli salsa,
three slices of chilli and a mild chilli sauce with extra chilli. The
only problem is you have to stand under a waterfall, up side down for
the whole of the next day.

Throwing caution to the wind I began to feast. The kebab was not so hot,
but it was considerably crunchy.

It had been a hectic day, so I reached into my cabinet and pulled out a
bottle of whiskey to relax. A ten-year malt, strong enough to melt
through plate mail. It would mix nicely with my kebab. I just had a
little trouble tasting it due to the fact all my taste buds had been
incinerated from my chilli. I saw that the bottle was half empty. No
doubt my father had been in here. I looked at the crumpled heap on the
bed in the corner of the room. Chrono had founded the Saerac family but
he was becoming a lush and awfully embarrassing to the name.

This kebab I was eating was beginning to worry me. It was very hard to
get down, not because it was hot but because it was prickly in texture
and was sticking in my gullet. Nevertheless, unperturbed by this
inconvenience, I chomped more vigorously.

Every family feast or political function we had to attend, Chrono would
get out of hand. He would start off rather slow. A drink only every
thirty seconds or so. Then he would speed up affairs and start dancing
on the dinning table stark naked, describing his great fighting
endeavors, sword in hand. Only that he never wielded a sword, instead he
would use certain parts of his anatomy. Then, after he had been kicked
out, I would find him in a fountain pretending to be one of Iysones
cherubs. With a coy look on his face and one foot in the air he would
gently urinate into the water whilst whistling merrily. Chrono was a
broken man and pitiful sighs emitted from the slumbering form under his
blanket. Razor was fed up with the old mans antics and had threatened to
kick him out the family unless he found a job, or a position in one of
the guilds.

I was halfway through my kebab and getting rather irritated. I was
getting bits of the meat stuck in my teeth and chunks that felt like
sticks caught in my throat. I coughed to try get some of the gunk out my
gullet. Then I looked down in horror to see that my kebab was twenty
percent chilli and eighty percent locust. I sighed sadly. Times were
tough after the war.

Anyways, Chrono was rejected by the paladin guild. The only guild where
he could make something of himself turned their backs to him. He had
been acting like a sniveling wreck ever since. In a month Razor would
kick him out onto the street. It was getting worrisome, for no reason he
would wake up in the middle of the night and come to my bedside and tell
me how proud he was of me and how sad he was that my mother was not here
to see it. It would have been a very emotional moment for me, and
perhaps it would have moved me too, but he had the annoying habit of
doing this in the nick and in an incredibly inebriated state. Seeing my
father drunk and naked is not one of the most pleasant experiences in my
life. I would rather face The Dark One. On top of that after he finished
talking to me he would pee on my face, mistaking me for a latrine.

Whilst Chrono had a bad day, I just had a bad life. This morning I woke
up with a dry face, a salty taste in my mouth and hideous mental images
of a naked male xoran still plaguing me. Nevertheless I managed to walk
to the Daru guildhall and begin my tekura forms and start teaching
students. As I approached the dojo there were a group of novices talking
about my least favorite subject. Vampires. So I listened in. Now we are
the Daru. That means we are zealots that wield the flame. We bring light
to the world, we fight for the beacon of light. Some of us fight for the
landmarks that aid devotion but above all we do not invite consanguine
in for a cup of hot kola. We keep our distance respectively.

This one student, I will not reveal names but lets just call her Miss
Jones for namesake, just to help me along, believes that you get good
vampires and you get bad vampires. I began to pound my head against a
brick wall. She also believes that you should not judge vampires,
because some are really clever and nice like Sho. At this point I took
out a knife and started cutting my wrists. She then said some vampires
dont feed on us, they suck rats blood so they wont hurt us. I began to
chew my tongue. I proceeded to listen to the conversation without saying
a word, but eventually I exploded when she said that vampires needed to
suck blood to live, and that if we did not provide them with blood they
would die. And so it is our duty to help the poor sods.

So to become a vampire you must ignore your mortality, cop out for an
eternity of dark power, and now we must help them suffer in this torment
forever? I must warn you if you are to become a member of the
consanguine. You will eat only one item on the menu. Blood! Served at
body temperature, with no spices like garlic, and no side portions of
any kind. How delightful! Not only that you will have the refreshing
company of a rotting ghast at your dinner table. Oh and you cant drink
the blood with a silver spoon because you will be allergic to it and
die, you have to suck it up and make horrible noises in the process. If
that is not enough to put you off the process of being embraced, you
have to follow a barbaric tradition. You have to serve as a thrall. You
serve you master on hands and feet for many years, fetching corpses for
him to drink from and like. While they treat you like a paradise bird
turd, you must always tell him or her how evil they look and kiss his
arse for many hours, calling him Your grace and such. When you have been
embraced do not think you are free just yet, you are still bound to your
master by a blood bond. Basically he controls you forever.

Yay!

I have a few vampire friends but I am sure I have a steel collar just in
case the have not had breakfast. Now I understand why every vampire I
meet these days is very grumpy. They are all very condescending and
judging souls. Most are aloof and extremely obnoxious. Yes, many are
intelligent and vicious to face in combat but I suppose that is all they
have going, poor sods I suppose they all cant be all as sexy as me. I am
even starting to feel sorry for them. Then I remember that you either
have to be considerably stupid to become one, or considerably insane
with a fetish for blood, a lust for power, a fancy for death things and
a morbid fascination for coffins. Gah no thank you!

It seemed Miss Jones was in a dire predicament. I remember her eyes were
so enchanting, like a mouse transfixed on a piece of cheese. Alas the
cheese is incased in a hungry mousetrap. I dont blame vampires really, I
can understand why they would want to sink their fangs into me, you see
inside this shell of lizard masculinity there is a juicy and tangy
inside. You see vampires like to play with their food. It excites them,
they lead you to believe they are your best friend thenBLAAMyou have two
fangs in your neck. Every vampire I have ever known has tried to rob me
blind, manipulate me, tried to kill me, stolen my girlfriend or stood on
my toe (I am Xoran I only have two on each foot). Poor Miss Jones would
learn a hard lesson. It just makes me sad that I cant change her views,
she must learn for herself. I mean if you like vampires why in the
flaming, blazing eyes of Rahn do you join a guild that is pretty much
against them in every sense of the word? Why not go to some meaningless,
void of direction, unbalanced, apathetic, waste of space organization
like, oh, I dont know, the Sentaari or something?

I was not in the mood for students so I took a walk to the jousting
grounds. I like they way the knights fight there. Tooth and nail. Using
lances, maces, swords, horseshoes, sand and their wits. Equally matched
and judged. I entered the grounds when two knights charged at each other
on horseback. They both hit each other with their lances that shattered
into a million shards. Both were thrown to the ground. Now I have fought
many battles in my life, and I think I can now say I know a good fighter
when I see one. A good fighter is not only a person that will kick the
living Sigfried out of you. Oops I mean, kick the living crap out of
you. A good fighter is someone who is intelligent and resourceful.
Experienced and not afraid to use every move in the book. Xon , Aden and
Murad are the best fighters I have ever seen and at all times make sure
you do not piss them off. However people like, Spirokai, Exodus,
Zahmekoses and Ishuri are even better. Not because they are ranked one
or two, but because the have things worth fighting for. They have
substance in their background and characters. They have ideals worth
defending. When the want something they will get it. Just do not get in
their ways, I have an annoying habit of doing this, but that is because
they are all evil and I have to because I am trying to be a zealot and
Rhanite. Oh and I was troll and incredibly stupid.

The silver knight smacked the gold knight over the head with a mace and
was sent sprawling to the floor. A good fighter is also someone who is
firm in their beliefs, steadfast with their religious deities and firm
in their ways of life or unlife. Now I must tell you about the
self-proclaimed supreme fighter. The one that remains head and shoulders
above the people I have just mentioned. His name is Sigfried. He asked
me not to criticize Spinesreach or their citizens, so the first thing I
will heed is his advice. Then I will do the complete opposite. The
Cardinalis are one of the proudest families in all of Aetolia. They
produced great men like Strung, Calin, Elden and Pjoll. As well as a few
others that have been legends in the realm. What baffles me is how they
can produce this special person like Sigfried. He is a very special
breed of Cardinalis.

The gold knight got up and slashed the silver knight twice, forcing him
to fall back into a horse trough. Sigfried has always been the bane of
my existence, I have fought him when he fought the Sentaari, when he
fought Shallam and even face-to-face dueling. I lost two duels to him, I
was humbled considering he is less powerful than me. He is extremely
skillful with the abilities he has, I wish I could shield when prone.
The priest guild is a guild of devote men that serve devotion. They help
the weak and serve the helpless. They are all stern, brave men and will
die defending the light as well as Shallam. They believe in holding the
law and justice.

Sigfried is even above that, he is the supreme priest of all priests. He
landmarks for evil, he assassinates novices and innocent people and
breaks every rule he can. He even goes under the guise of A Priest of
War. Dont be fooled people this man lost all his wars, the Sentaari war
and the Shallamese war. Now he declared war on the Daru, and in his own
words, Ishuri will tremble when he hears the name of Sigfried. He is the
priest oferthe GREAT priest of...er I do not know but he is a hardcore
priest of something. He does not just use the priest abilities for his
own selfishness or anything ridiculous like that, no, NO. Just do not
send orphans to him to seek the word of the divine. Gods only know what
he does to those poor young boys.

The silver knight threw water into the gold knights face and manage to
escape a huge cleaving strike. I admire Sigfried. He is very spiritual
and he understands the divine like none other. He even said he is the
reincarnation of his father, Hagen. Now I dont believe in that afterlife
mumbo jumbo but Sigfried is deep, so very deep. Everyone has their
reasons for killing but Sigfrieds reasons are straightforward and clear.
I urge you to all obey them for I have fallen to these reasons out of
sheer folly. Here are his ten reasons for killing:

Thou shalt not offend Lord Sigfried or his family, or try killing him.
This I can understand.

Thou shalt not landmark for good or fight against The Reach or question
his motives. He is allowed to do what he wants when he wants because he
is the priest that is the bad priest that lives in a dark city and
fights against good. Every young priest should know this basic
principle, evil is good, devotion is bad. I can sort of understand this.

Thou shalt not defend anyone that is being attacked by Sigfried. Even if
the person is very puny and small. I can even understand that one. It is
a bit dodgy but he is a priest and is probably sending them to a better
place like Nirvana.

Thou shalt not bash a lot. Hrmyep this one is a pretty tough reason to
understand, but like I said Sigfried knows better than us. Sigfried has
killed most of the top bashers once or twice in their lives. So be
warned and try to bash just a little bit. Sigfried is not looking for
cheap experience or anything he just knows bashing is bad. I agree. We
should all be able to murder and butcher each other in peace and
harmony. I want to be like Sigfried, I mean the man has not bashed in
his life, he gets all his experience in killing others.

Thou shalt never refuse Sigfried pilgrimage ever. Er, whew! These are
getting tough to explain but trust me Sigfried is the law. My uncle
Serram was killed for refusing to do this. I know Serram is a paladin
and should stand up for what Sigfried himself has learned over the
years, they both are devotionists. Serram is young and still needs to
learn these priestly ways. Oh wait Serram is older and is one of the
great leaders in the Paladin guild surely he should know? Oh I know, it
is because Serram is a troll and a bit slow. Wait a moment Sigfried is
also a troll. Okay so I cant explain that one too well, but lets move
on.

Thou shalt not enter the realm at North of Thera when he is there. Hrm,
a very hard reason to understand. I fell to this one by accident. I
think Sigfried feels that you are weak if you enter the realms, because
your reflexes are not in tune with the prime material plain just yet.
Thus you must be destroyed. Being a priest must be tough. People say
that those that are quick to violence are slow in wit. Sigfried believes
that violence is the only way to prove yourself. Here, here Sigfried.

Thou shalt not use the word rhetorical in any sentence you say to
Sigfried, keep your words to as few syllables and letters as possible.
While the Tsolaa and Grook have 436 or so characters in their alphabets,
the troll alphabet only has 7, and Sigfried is not the most educated man
in the realms, he talks like a dog that has a holocaust globe in its
bum. Do not judge him for this handicap. Razor was killed twice for
this. It even made Razor mad and forced him to write insane posts.
Sigfried did an exorcism on him, forcing the evil denizens that
possessed Razors soul to flee. The voices have left Razor now. People
say crazy posts like that ruin Aetolia. I believe it is the people that
force people to write posts like that, ruin Aetolia.

Thou shalt not have a student in your guild that attacks and tries to
kill Sigfried. Poor Katana one of the Daru secretaries was reading the
news one day when Sigfried killed him. No warning, nothing. Sigfried is
firm and righteous in his deeds. Mabye not righteous but at least he
thinks he is right. The retribution and his ways are unyielding. If one
person in your guild tries to kill Sigfried, he will declare war on the
whole guild. Sounds very fair to me. Okay maybe not. Whew! These reasons
are getting hard to explain.

Thou shalt breathe in through thou mouth and exhale through thou right
nostril. Many people have been killed by Sigfried, thinking it to be for
no reason. If you do not breathe like this you will die. Sigfried holds
this reason dear, be sure to observe it at all times.

The last reason and most important. Thou shalt not write posts that
might tarnish his reputation. That is why I am writing one, so I can
tell you what a great man Sigfried is. Perhaps he may find pity upon my
soul, I am Xoran and I breathe through my scales when it gets too hot.
Especially when Saige is near.

Sigfried is the most intelligent man alive so it is extremely hard to
outsmart him. I think I did by accident. He attacked sentaari monks for
no reason when I was secretary. I had to do something because the
sentaari do nothing. I grabbed my daughter Synx and told her to trick
Sigfried into sitting down. Synx is the second most gorgeous female
alive, sighSaige is the first. Nevertheless she twinkled her eyes and
sparkled here and there and Sigfried the mighty was sitting on the floor
like a little cute baby troll. Sigfried sat down thinking Synx was weak
and would only do small damage in a backbreak. Of course I sneaked into
the room and drove his spine though his nasal passages.

The second time was when he and Spirokai were attacking Shallam. I was
part of the defense so I could order a few loyal troops. While Spirokai
and Sigfried killed a few of the Shallamese troops I got a few last
remaining men and put them in a room near them. I walked to Sigfried and
thrust kicked him into the pikes of six troops. Spirokai was clever and
impossible to do this to. Sigfried just had a bad day or something,
normally he is very smart. I must have been the luckiest man alive when
Sigfried attacked again and I ordered the troops into another room and
repeated the process. He fell for it, twice. Unbelievable. We call cant
be perfect, praise Rahn.

The last occasion was easy. After one of Sigfrieds murders I got a
little emotional and tried to ask Sigfried why he did these foul acts as
a priest. I wanted to hear his pearls of wisdom. While I was talking to
him I asked another Daru warrior who is one quarter Siggies power to
jumpkick him while I tried to backbreak him. After visiting the flame
Sigfried later said teaming was unfair. Find me a rule or law that says
teaming is evil or backhanded. If you cant beat em! Get a hundred
smaller warriors to beat em!. Sigfried is not only a good fighter, he is
also beyond intelligence, beyond resourcefulness, beyond priesthood and
beyond reason.

Oh this post is deliberately long and addressed to the person that said
if he wanted to read a book he would by one. I cant believe you paid
1000 gold to post that reply to me. I cant believe you did not know you
did not have to read every post that is up here. But I can believe you
are reading these words as you see them now, which proves you are even
bigger moron than Sigfthan my dog.

After the silver knight smacked the gold knight senseless, they got up
and shook hands. Sometimes in life you have to bite the edge of the
sword and realize when you have been defeated. Believe me I have done it
so many times. As long as you take it like a man and have a good laugh
afterwards. Even when the Dark one spreads her vile acts across the land
and consanguine stalk for your blood there is always time for humor.
Every time I fight Sigfried or die to him it is hilarious, because he is
completely naked when he does and a troll without clothing gives me hope
that my father might find a wife someday.

May a huge flame warm your hearts.

Penned by my hand on the 11th of Haernos, in the year 111 MA.