One wishes to share her experiences with shopping for a new outfit for the betterment of all.

One set out with the noblest of goals: to acquire a new gown befitting one of taste, refinement, and excellent appearance. Alas, what followed was a harrowing lesson in regional misfortune and civic decline.

First, one had heard excellent things of the city of Duiran, with their work with feathers and such. So, to this odd little city, one did go.

Unfortunately Durian, was a pit of retail despair. No sooner had one set foot within its questionable markets than an insufferable gnome child accosted me wearing the sort of trinkets better suited to a magpie with head trauma. One simply assumed the beggar child was attempting to pawn off their misbegotten trinkets to some rube. Before I could disentangle myself from this beggar child, a bald human, black-eyed and shouting, decided stabbing was an acceptable conversational opener. One cannot help but note: baldness is rarely just a hairstyle it is an affliction of character. One should be wary of the bald.


Thus, I retreated to safer markets

Enorian, next on my ill-fated itinerary, offered no reprieve. A half-starved Tsol'aa, clearly unbathed and unfamiliar with the art of shoes, lurched out of an alley to speak with me. However, upon discovering that I merely wished to shop, he screamed, ran way and I do say screamed! Screamed mind you, and returned minutes later with a cadre of overly enthusiastic homeless holy people. Civilised conversation was, alas, off the table.

Thus, I retreated again.

Bloodloch was, surprisingly, the least offensive stop. There were no attackers, no screaming, and no bald men. Thank the Gods. Regrettably, the gown selection consisted of approximately less than half a dozen dresses, three of which were clearly designed for someone who identifies as "the bloodiest at the ball."

And so, I returned to Spinesreach.

A reasonable variety of styles. No barefoot fanatics. No shrieking gnome children No attempted stabbings and thankfully no bald men. It is, evidently, the only city still capable of providing the dignified shopping experience one deserves.


You are all quite welcome for my time and effort in educating you in the art of shopping.

-Sepyhie



Penned by my hand on Tisday, the 21st of Omeian, in the year 11 AC.