They ask me such a complicated question,
layerful if such a word existed
The ups and downs, the smiles and frowns,
every high and low leaves me exhilerated.
I miss my hometown, my family, but I fear I should not see them.
I wonder... If they recognize me when they hear of my name and my deeds.
Mumma, Pubba, Jaru, my old friends.
I am not the same young teen that was easily lured from your boundaries,
by promises of seeking the Light.

Do you think that the Templars have begun to notice
that I cannot help but hum along to their cadence as they march?
To time my steps to their own as the Illuminai's prayers seek the Sun?
I have begun to memorize these, too.
Every dawn I hear them chanting alongside me in Illumine
Aevoi fio Oihia
The Star of Divine Fire that Protects
Sol Eos
Our Sun.

I'd like to chant with them some day, but I still,
still,
after all this time have not learned my place.
It makes me laugh, my own indecision.
I have grown used to the guildless quietudes of my days.
The lack of pressure and responsibility.
And yet despite not being Ascendril I still seek the Archmage's knowledge.
How do you do? Teach me, please!

He tells me the ways of the Moonlet
I sample them in my motions.
I prefer the slow route, the gentle path of breaking
their bones until they cannot resist its carving.
I have taken life, and I have given it.

How do you do?
Did you know that I was accepted under the Lord Marshal's tutelage?
Are you proud? I am.
Do I make him proud? I know not.
But sometimes I say things that just don't sound like me,
in fact they quite sound like him.
"Nail." "Because I said so."
He teaches me that kindness is earned, not given.
To protect myself, physically and mentally.
To be worthy of the Hammer.
I am excited, I hope you are too.

Am I talking too much? I've been told that I ramble.
It's quite alright, I love my silly ways,
even if some find me quite ridiculous.
Too passionate. Easily excitable.
That's fine! I will be these things!

I do wonder
what Enorian has in store for me today.

How do you do?

Penned by my hand on Gosday, the 13th of Haernos, in the year 20 AC.